When I looked at 2017 from the arse-end of 2016, I set out with hopes for the future and what I might make of the year ahead. I ended 2016 on a solemn note, after going through a very dark patch, and trying to claw my way back to sanity by developing what some would call bad coping mechanisms, but I made it through regardless.
I set out 4 rules on the last day of the year; I will travel, I will be me, I will evolve and I will not settle.
I started off the year by travelling to Liverpool and Manchester, to spend time with friends, I then went off to Italy to see my father for 10 days, I have recently booked to go to Disneyland Paris whilst also having another Manchester trip planned, and coincidentally, a brief stop over in London. As for more travelling, I haven’t yet settled on what else there is I can fit into the year, but I have promised myself for years now, to go away somewhere for my birthday, and perhaps my 29th is the time I should do that.
Throughout most of 2017 so far, I can say I have been myself. I don’t shy away from things anymore, I am more outspoken, and I have evolved beyond what was my understanding of myself to become this newer version of me. I evolved to become a homeowner, which was unexpected, but it’s been a good experience so far, although I’m sure somewhere down the line it may cause me some stress.
And as for not settling, well, I have sure put some people through their paces, held back on some things and really let fate take it’s course. It’s not that the people I am vaguely talking about are no good, but there are a lot more things to contemplate now, because of the previous 3 rules to the year. I am going away more, I spend more time with friends who are not necessarily in the city I live in, I am me, and being me is currently a complex thing that goes beyond my issues with trust, anxiety and my core values; and I am still evolving from what walked through that time slip into 2017.
So why, 7 months into the year am I writing this? Well, because I forgot that I have made promises to myself, and then I found that I have achieved most of what I set out to do. Yeah, I haven’t travelled as much as I had intended to, nor have I dropped anywhere near the weight I wanted to lose (complete sidetrack there) but I have achieved the basics, and that’s all you can really expect.
It is sometimes easier to skip over the little things and not think that they matter, and get down and hard on yourself because there hasn’t been this big, massive, life-altering event, but that’s the beauty of just living life for you. All these little things add up to progress, and I’m sure by the time I reach the end of the year, there will be more to make up what is already shaping up to be a great year.